I wanted to discuss a bullying scene from a movie we had been watching just before we left, and I asked him what he would have done if he had seen the same thing happen at his school. “Gramma,” he said. “It’s fake! It’s only a movie.” I was struck once again with the difficulty we have as parents and educators helping our kids connect to what they read, or in this case, what they view. It’s the difference between merely seeing the picture and internalizing what that picture means in terms of being human. And, it's important!
Readers may already know that ‘making connections between the text and outside experiences and knowledge’ is a tough portion of the Reading CMT (Connecticut Mastery Test). But, much more important than standardized testing is our need to develop a child’s ability to connect with what he or she reads or views simply because empathy is a significant life-long success factor. The best leaders, (as well as spouses and parents), have the ability to understand the patterns of human behavior and predict with accuracy what motivates others. In addition, people who connect with others and feel empathy are better able to withstand adversity. Connecting with others provides a feeling of belonging and reduces feelings of loneliness.
Typically, regardless of whether it's a movie or a book, our children connect to the events in a story -- in other words, its plot. And, if they have never experienced that particular series of events themselves, they can have difficulty imagining themselves in the same situation. Our job as teachers and parents is to help children move beyond the situation itself (the plot) to explore the elements of human nature embedded within. This human connection can come from pictures in magazines, television story lines, books, and movies -- for me, even Hallmark commercials! It involves considering what the people are thinking and feeling, and why. Helping kids develop this skill involves asking them important questions about what they read and view.
Try this out with your child. Use the picture below and ask a few questions such as: How did the boy get into this jam? [You don’t want the obvious: ‘he put his head through the chair.’ Rather, maybe someone dared him to do it. Maybe he was showing off for his friends.] What is the boy thinking now? [He might be embarrassed because everyone knows he did something foolish. He might be afraid of getting in trouble. He might be afraid of getting hurt.] What do think is going through the mind of the lady in the tan jacket and who do you think she is? [She might be afraid the boy will get hurt… She might be angry …] How about the man in blue with the saw?
Any example of human experience will do, but if you’re game there is an incredible video on youtube.com at “Sailor Surprises His Son.” After viewing the video together, ask your child: If the boy is happy, why is he crying? How does the father feel? Do you think the surprise was a good one?
Even our littlest readers and viewers can begin to connect to what they read, hear, and view with practice. Good connection questions help us draw conclusions about people in general. They help us understand jealousy, loyalty, shyness, embarrassment, and a whole wealth of feelings we humans share in common. They also enable us to understand reactions which are not common to most people. Next time you’re reading a story or watching a movie, ask your children to think about whether or not they would like to be friends with a particular character or person. Ask them what they might have done in that same situation, or if they would like to visit that place or meet that person you read about. Ask which part of the story or movie they liked best, or if one of the characters reminds them of anyone they know. And, of course, always ask why.
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